You just never know

I just learned of some terribly sad news today.  A good friend's husband who has been battling cancer for quite a few months was just informed that it is terminal and was given a year to live.

This is one of those moments you are only supposed to see in movies and feel momentarily bad for the characters involved.  Things like this aren't supposed to happen in real life.  

In addition to this friend's husband, my aunt and a close friend's mother were both diagnosed with breast cancer in the past few months and have recently begun various treatments in an attempt to beat it.  This is the first time I'm aware of that The Big C has hit so close to home.  

Nonetheless, it doesn't matter who is suffering from this horrible disease.  Cancer is so unbelievably evil in every aspect of the word.  It attacks those whom you'd least expect...those who lead a near pristine lifestyle (speaking from a health standpoint, that is) as well as those whose daily diet consists of a pack of Lucky Strikes, whiskey and beer.     

I really don't know where I'm going with this.  I just felt compelled to write about it after hearing this news.  I'm not sure if this is going to turn into a "You never know what life has in store for you" or a "Live life to the fullest" post or what.  But I simply need to get this out before I explode.

On a semi-related note, I've been meaning to talk about this one: prayer.  If you know anything about me, you know that I've never really been a religious person.  On occasion you might have heard me jokingly say "I pray to God that I win the lottery" or something of the like.  However, I've never been a devout anything, let alone somebody who prayed.  To this day there are still many things in that department I question, and wonder if I'll truly understand or believe.  With that said, let me regale you with this tale:

Last weekend Patrick's parents made a trip to Chicago to meet my family.  For three straight days prior to their visit I stalked the weather as if I were Tom Skilling himself.  And for those days leading up to the gathering, the weather report looked bleak: cloudy and rainy with increasing chances of thunderstorms with each passing day.  Normally this wouldn't be a huge issue, but we were planning on hosting a BBQ.  When the day arrived, the weather was just as predicted: gray and rainy.  All morning I watched the radar as the green and yellow patches on the map drew ever closer to our area.  When we were within an hour of our guests arrival, I recall sitting on the porch half thinking aloud, half praying (if you could call it that) saying "Hey God.  I'm not sure if this will do much good...if you're listening...or what...but it would be really appreciated if these thunderstorms could come and go quickly, or pass over us entirely."  I did what I could and that was that.

As our guests arrived, the sky was still gloomy and we were dealing with a bit of drizzle.  And then the craziest thing happened:  though the weather report called for a 75% chance of thunderstorms, the rain hit the road and the sun broke through.  The temperature increased and it was suddenly a gorgeous summer's afternoon.  I swear to you when I say this...it was as if somebody flipped a switch and we went from the inevitable crappy Chicago day to one that was picture perfect.

With that said, I honestly don't know what caused such a rapid and drastic weather change.  I certainly don't put it past typical Chicago weather; it is, after all, a city in which you can experience all four seasons in one day.  However, a part of me still has to wonder...could my little pseudo-prayer, or whatever you want to call it have had some impact?  It's certainly nice to believe that anyway.

So, back to my original reason for this post.  There is no crystal ball in life.  We can never simply take a gander and see what's written in the cards for us. With that said, I almost feel as though I need to bust out the ever-so-cliched use of "live each day as if it were your last."  But I won't.  I guess I simply just want to say this:  there are very few things about life that are definitive. We have little control over the ultimate outcomes.  I suppose we simply need to make the most of the time we have here on this earth.  

And if you're a person who believes in the power of prayer, please do so.  In all honesty, I'm still unsure where I stand on the whole thing, but I do know that I'm more than willing to keep an open mind to it.  Just like that crazy weather day last weekend, you simply never know. 

 

It looks like rain

Earlier this afternoon I was leaving a restaurant with my fiancee.  As we made our journey to the car we noticed an elderly woman crossing a major road.  Her body bent at a 90 degree angle, she shuffled across, gripping her walker for dear life.  The fiancee and I just stopped and watched in horror as car after car came to abrupt stops to avoid hitting this woman.  We were frozen with fear, curiosity, and an inability to know what to do.  A moment later a patron of the restaurant, dressed in his Sunday best, ran out into the street (from his booth in the restaurant, mind you) and helped this woman make it across the road safely.  Once the hero and the elderly woman were out of harm's way, we watched as they exchanged a few words, she thanking him for his kind action.  This man then went on to place what appeared to be a few twenty dollar bills into her withered hand.  She thanked him repeatedly and they both went about their business.

Forty-five minutes before this heroic scene, I sat in a sticky booth in that restaurant complaining about my "terrible life."  I carried on about how I feel like such a failure because I wasn't asked back to my teaching position and will be subsequently unemployed in ten days.  I also made it a point to mention my inability to lose weight, how repulsive I felt, and that I'd never lose enough weight to fit into my dress for our upcoming wedding.

I've got problems.

I will never be able to grasp the concept of self-pity when there are people in the world like that elderly woman.  And I'm guilty beyond words.  This woman clearly has some sort of debilitating condition that leaves her body in a near non-functioning state.  Yet she continues on with her life and does what she needs to survive.  And here I am, acting as if my life is ending.  I will still have food to eat, a warm bed in which to sleep, and a vehicle at my disposal to transport me anywhere I need.  It just doesn't make sense.

I wonder why it's so difficult to be truly thankful for what we have in life?  Why does it require seeing events like I witnessed today to make you take a step back and realize things in your life are pretty damned good compared to many in this world?  Is our superficial, materialistic culture so accustomed to always wanting and needing more that we never realize we already have more than enough and we're fine just the way we are? 

Looking back and reflecting on the day's events, I'm terribly ashamed of my behavior.  I wish it didn't take seeing this woman to make me understand that my life is pretty damned good, but it did.  I sincerely hope that from each day forward I'm able to be nothing but grateful for the blessings in my life and be thankful that I have yet another day to awaken in a warm bed and not worry about securing my next meal. 

Food for thought.